Dear Muslimah, welcome to the first Module “ALLAH Centered” – the first A of the Zuper Zawjah Course. We will discuss in this module, what ALLAH-Centered means and what is the significance of keeping ALLAH, at the centre of life. So lets begin:
The first A for SuperZawjah stands for
ALLAH-CENTERED
When you love Allah, the way you love others changes.
What is the meaning of Allah-centered love?
A woman who does not know her real self and her Creator (refuses to possess knowledge of God and himself through ma’rifah) has not discovered the actual feeling of love.
What is love according to you?
Some speak about love as if it is a destructive emotion
“Love hurts”
“Love is a weakness”
“Love is the blind ignorance of the young people”
“Love is a desire that intoxicates”
“Love is polluted by those who seek to do evil in its name”
To know the meaning of true love, it’s important to know and understand the divine name Al-wadood, followed by the conditions and causes of love.
To know the meaning of true love, it’s important to know and understand the divine name Al-wadood, followed by the conditions and causes of love.
Close your eyes and think of the last time you experienced love..
When was the last time you felt truly loved? Close your eyes and think about it.
You remember certain people as well as specific scenarios.
How do you know that you are loved?
Now you remember the things the person did to express their love for you.
You measure their love based on their expressions of love for you. Right?
Understanding the meaning of real, eternal love:
When you fall in love, it is first self-centered as you want to fulfill your own desires through him and enjoy the pleasure of his company. This type of love is exercised by all your five senses. This kind of love will weaken and extinguish when your physical senses weaken.
If you fall in love because someone makes you laugh, what happens
when you no longer find them funny? If you fall in love because someone is good-looking, what
happens when their beauty fades? If you fall in love because someone can provide for you, what happens when they lose wealth? Real love lies in the soul and defies all reasons. When you truly love someone, you do not look for reasons, you see beyond reasons.
“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what
love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”
– Louis de Bernieres
In the case of self-centered love, when your love is not returned, you want to stop loving. Most people do stop loving and part ways! Most people move on because their
feelings had no roots.
Sometimes heartache makes one hate the idea of love but remember that love is the only thing that keeps our
hearts alive and the only thing that stays with us even after we die. “There is no goodness in
one who doesn’t love and isn’t loved.” (Hadith) “You will not enter Paradise until you have faith and you will not have faith until you love
each other.” (Sahih Muslim)
“None will taste the sweetness of faith until he loves a person only FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH..”
(Sahih Bukhari)
When you are Allah-centered, you are connected to Source of true, eternal Love (Al-Wadood) and this love is not limited by senses but is rooted in inner spiritual instinct. It goes beyond your logic and calculations.
This highest level of love is not because of the benefits or
reimbursement that you can get.
The actual love is the one that emerges from your sixth sense which is ghayb (metaphysical, Unseen). Its understanding (idra’) is stronger than what can be defined by your physical senses.
That is real, eternal love stemming from the Causer of Causes: Al-Wadood. So, now you do not depend on the causes that led to this love, as you are connected with the Causer of Causes, so you are mukhlis (sincere) in your intention and cannot be influenced by changing circumstances. Love is patient. What’s depicted in the conventional movies, songs, dramas is not true, eternal love.
The SuperZawjah’s patience is stronger than her whims and desires, but if one’s whims and desires are stronger than one’s patience, then one’s love is polluted.
In the case of self-centered love, when your love is not returned, you want to stop loving. Most people do stop loving and part ways! Most people move on because their
feelings had no roots.
Sometimes heartache makes one hate the idea of love but remember that love is the only thing that keeps our
hearts alive and the only thing that stays with us even after we die. “There is no goodness in
one who doesn’t love and isn’t loved.” (Hadith) “You will not enter Paradise until you have faith and you will not have faith until you love
each other.” (Sahih Muslim)
“None will taste the sweetness of faith until he loves a person only FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH..”
(Sahih Bukhari)
When you are Allah-centered, you are connected to Source of true, eternal Love (Al-Wadood) and this love is not limited by senses but is rooted in inner spiritual instinct. It goes beyond your logic and calculations.
This highest level of love is not because of the benefits or
reimbursement that you can get.
The actual love is the one that emerges from your sixth sense which is ghayb (metaphysical, Unseen). Its understanding (idra’) is stronger than what can be defined by your physical senses.
That is real, eternal love stemming from the Causer of Causes: Al-Wadood. So, now you do not depend on the causes that led to this love, as you are connected with the Causer of Causes, so you are mukhlis (sincere) in your intention and cannot be influenced by changing circumstances. Love is patient. What’s depicted in the conventional movies, songs, dramas is not true, eternal love.
The SuperZawjah’s patience is stronger than her whims and desires, but if one’s whims and desires are stronger than one’s patience, then one’s love is polluted.
The SuperZawjah is Talibul Akhirah so her love is not limited hy the selfish wants of this world, that is why her love makes her soul rich with the sweetness of faith.
“Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the
truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
(1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
The emotion of Love is a sign for you to contemplate so that you find Al-Wadood.
“He placed between you love (mawaddah) and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (Quran 30:21)
Your beloved was sent by Al-Wadood (The Source of Love, the Most-Loving One) as a sign from Him for you to realize His love and get closer to Him. A deeper understanding after experiences in life gets you to realize that no love is greater than what Allah has for you!
Allah SWT Himself is the Source of the love that you give and receive and only He can join hearts in love
“And He has united their hearts. If you had spent all that is in the earth, you could not have united their hearts, but Allah has united them. Certainly He is All-Mighty, All-Wise.” (Quran 8:53)
Hubb is having the feeling of love. This kind of love – one that is shown and expressed – is called wud.
Wud means love accompanied with an expression of love through the act of giving. And Allah has Named Himself al-Wadud: This word was specifically chosen to show that Allah not only loves you, but that He shows you He loves you.
The SuperZawjah is Allah-centered and notices how Allah manifests His love in the universe, specifically for her – every single day.
“And He has created cattle for you. From them you derive warmth and
numerous benefits, and of their [meat] you eat.” (16:5)
“It is He Who sends down rain from the sky. From it you drink, and out
of it (grows) the vegetation on which you feed your cattle. With it Heproduces for you corn, olives, date palms, grapes and every kind of
fruit. Verily in this is a sign for those who give thought.” (16:10–11)
“He has made subject to you the night and the day, the sun and the
moon; and the stars are in subjection by His command. Verily in this are signs for people who are wise. And the things on this earth which
He has multiplied in varying colours [and qualities]. Verily in this is a sign for people who celebrate the praises of God [in gratitude]. It is He Who has made the sea subject, so that you may eat thereof flesh that is fresh and tender, and that you may extract from it ornaments to wear. And you see the ships on it that plough the waves, so that you may seek of the bounty of God, and that you may be grateful. And He has set up on the earth mountains, standing firm, lest it should shake with you, and rivers and roads, so that you may guide yourselves; and marks and signposts; and by the stars [men] guide themselves. Is then He Who creates like one that creates not? Will you not receive admonition? If you would count the favors of God, never would you be able to number them, for God is Oft-Forgiving,
Most Merciful” (Quran 16:12–18)
When you are Allah-centered instead of self-centred you are gifted an extraordinary capacity to love for Allah’s sake.
God has said in His Final Revelation “Kullu man alayha faan” – Everyone on it (the earth)
will perish (Quran 55:26) The distance from your beloved gives you a taste of this Fana (annihilation). There’s a world outside you (zaahir) and there’s a world inside you (baatin). The separation from your beloved annihilate the world inside you. What’s the way forward from here? This is the point when most lovers despair and show withdrawal symptoms. Many even end their lives or live like zombies!
The SuperZawjah finds that the way forward is in the next verse “wa yabqaa wajhu Rabbika dhul jalaali wal ikraam – But only the Majesty of your Lord and that which is under the care of your Lord,
the Lord of Glory and Honour endures forever.” (Quran 55:27) The belief in the Creator and
Sustainer of the Universe is what remains. If you hold on to His presence, He won’t let you
get lost in the pain. In fact He has the perfect ability to convert your loss into gain, pain into pleasure, the bitterness into sweetness, if you give Him all the pieces of your heart.
The bitterness of this world is actually the sweetness of the unseen world. The pain of this world is actually the pleasure of the unseen world. The loss of this ephemeral world is an illusion and it is a gain in the world of Reality (Haqeeqat). Let go of the illusion of control and you’ll discover the perfect design in the chaos. You have not lost anything, you have only gained. Your love is never gone if you leave it in Allah’s care as He has promised “and that which is under the care of your Lord, the Lord of Glory
and Honour endures forever.” Believe in His promise. You must believe because at the end of your life, you’ll realize that every human is weak and fails to keep promises even if they want to. Only Allah is perfect and never breaks His promises.
You start living your best life when you stop keeping yourself at the centre and
make Allah the centre of your life. Won’t you stop regretting and instead feel grateful for such a deep love that annihilated your sense of self? Won’t
you stop resisting, complaining and brooding and instead embrace your destiny? Embrace
Qadr – The plan of the Most-Loving God who has created you from nothingness and prepared the eternal gardens of Paradise for you wherein you’ll have ALL that you desire, even that which you sacrificed in this quick-passing world. Embrace Qadr in order to be embraced by Al-Wadood. Trust Him. Submit to Him.
Don’t let your nafs trick you and trap you in the temptations of this world. All that this material world promises you is a lie and all attachments will die, whereas, all that Allah promises you is true and all that you leave in His care will endure forever.
It is in silence that you are able to listen to the message of Allah in the centre of your being. When you are not absorbed in the imaginations of the future or rumination of the past, you are connected with your soul which is beyond time and space. This silence becomes the gate-keeper of your heart and does not allow any thought to disturb the calm ocean of the Noor (light) of God in your heart and this is where real love lies. Real Eternal love is Noor.
One of Allah’s names is an-Noor. You feel tired and lonely, but this is the path to peace. Let your heart swim in this ocean of Noor leaving behind your opinions of what’s happy and sad and your judgment of what’s good and bad in your life. The more you attach your heart to the world, the more the voice of Allah is drowned out, the more lost you feel. The silent moments of soul connection quiet down the chatter inside your mind. Detach with the outer world, to connect with your inner world. Close the chatterbox, let God’s voice remain.
The SuperZawjah leaves her self-centeredness and sees the light after darkness. She
sees the magic of love! She finally experiences real love that does what it does best – healing!
Love is the only thing in the world that heals.
When pure love touches your heart, it break the barriers inside you that were stopping you from feeling the love that has been flowing through the universe constantly that
you were so oblivious of, the love of the All-Encompassing, the love that never hurts, the love that you so deserve, the love that can give you all the light and strength you need to be the best version of yourself.
The earth delights when the Allah-centered SuperZawjah walks on it. The angels envelope her wherever she goes.
“When God loves a servant, he calls Gabriel and he says: Verily, I love this person so you should love him. Then Gabriel loves him and makes an announcement in the heavens, saying: God loves this person and you should love him. Thus, the dwellers of the heavens
love him and he is honored on the earth.” (Prophet Muhammad PBUH, Sahih al Bukhari)
So hold on to your connection to the Most-High and be brave. Don’t fear change. Don’t fear pain. Your heart is safe in the hands of Ar-Rahmaan (The Most Beneficent) so give it to Him. Be Allah-centered.
Rest your heart with Allah and face the challenges while seeking strength from the One who heals all pain. The heartache will lead you to the sweetness of faith. Then the chaos will disappear. Chaos comes from blindly pursuing passions. Peace comes from submitting our desires to God. Submission causes disappearance of problems.
Real love induces a spirit of sacrifice! Only the meeting with Allah in the beautiful gardens of Paradise can soothe the heart of a Mukhlis (sincere) lover.
“(Some) faces, that Day, will be radiant, Looking at their Lord” [Quran 75:22-23]
Asiya (may Allah be pleased with her) embodied kindness, contentment, optimism, strength and courage through submission to Allah that made her a woman of Paradise. She made a unique dua that saved it for us in the Quran “My Lord, build for me near You a house in Paradise.” More than the house in Jannah, she yearned for the companionship of Allah SWT, so she first asked for Allah to be her neighbor before asking for the house in Jannah. Also, her love for Allah was unaffected by her husband’s opinion.
The SuperZawjah sees herself through Allah’s context and her self-statements are not framed by what others say about her. So, she respects differences in opinion without shifting from Reality. She communicates openly and calmly and is able to hold a non-judgmental space for all of her husband’s feelings without taking them personally as she knows Allah is the Controller of hearts. The SuperZawjah does not need to control or manipulate her husband as she’s aware of her superpower – Dua and Tawakkul, so she’s able to surrender control to Allah and exercise greater influence by being Allah-centered.
SuperZawjah www.superbelievers.com/super-zawjah/